Bruised Hearts
by poke-a-spark
Summary: FTL. In which Red wants more, Emma freaks and does what she does best, and Snow tries to pick up the pieces with words of a sunnier tomorrow. Red Swan.
1. Chapter 1

Red Swan (Red/Emma)

**ATTENTION READERS:** Please read until the last chapter before express posting me pitchforks? Please?

**SUMMARY:** FTL. In which Red wants more, Emma freaks and does what she does best, and Snow tries to pick up the pieces with words of a sunnier tomorrow.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Once Upon a Time or its characters. I do not own 'I Hope You Find It – by Miley Cyrus'. I am not making a profit from this story. In fact, if you recognize it… I probably don't own it. Actually, I'm kind of happy I don't own it; I had a hard enough time keeping my fish alive.

**Bruised Hearts**

**o0o0o0o**

"I can't do this anymore," Emma mumbled to herself as she frantically shoved articles of clothing into her worn rucksack.

"What?" Red asked in shock as she stared at Emma's back from her position on the other girl's bed.

"I'm leaving." Emma stated, louder, despite the fact that the younger girl would have been able to hear a whisper from fifty paces away as clear as if it were screamed in her ear.

Red struggled to banish the sleep that stubbornly clung to her, despite the older girl's words sending a stream of ice cold dread through her veins. "When will you be back? I could come with…"

"I'm not," Emma abruptly cut the other off, still refusing to face the other girl.

"What?" Red shot up in the bed, suddenly completely awake, though wishing she wasn't. "Are you leaving this place," She started, voice carrying an undertone of hurt, "or are you running away from us?"

"There _is_ no us." Emma stated with such finality that she almost believed it herself.

"Excuse me?" Red asked, incredulous. "So what, we've just been fuck-buddies for the past year and a half? Is that what you're saying?"

"You're the one who said it, not me," Emma muttered quietly, internally shuttering away her emotions behind strongly built walls.

Red gaped at the blond curls facing her, struggling to rein in her quickly unravelling emotions. Soon, despite her intention to keep a clear head in the face of Emma's stubbornness, Red snapped, her ire quickly growing.

"Is that what you really think?" Red slid off the bed, taking one step towards the blond before halting, fists clenching at her sides. "I can't believe- Is this because of what I said last night?" Red's voice shook slightly, though for the life of her she couldn't tell if she was going to start screaming or burst into hysterical sobs. "About wanting more?"

Emma remained silent, clipping her pack shut before bending down, arms reaching under the bench for her missing boots.

"It is, isn't it?" Red laughed slightly, voice devoid of humor and leaning towards the hysterical. "You got scared, and instead of talking about it like an adult you're running away from your problems. From your feelings. Again."

"I'm not-" Emma said flatly, only to be interrupted once more.

"You are. You totally are." Red's nostrils flared slightly as she took another step closer to the now seated princess. "So what is it you're afraid of? Is it because I said I love you?" Red's heart clenched tightly as she said it, the reaction Emma let slip sending tiny needles into the wildly beating organ. "You always said your life was shitty, so _god forbid_ when your luck takes a turn for the better you be happy. You have two loving parents- probably _the_ world's most _wonderful_ parents, and you're running away. You're son thinks the world of you, and you're just gonna foist him off on someone else, _again_? You're beloved by all and can have anything you want- the world is your fucking _oyster_, and you're not content." Red stalked forward, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat. "You have a girl who loves you-would do _anything_ for you if you asked, and instead of being happy you're hiding behind your damn _walls_. Are you fucking _kidding_ me?"

Emma finished lacing her boots before standing up. Grabbing her pack, she turned her head to stare blankly at the furious form inches from her own. Red was shaking slightly, her hands gripping the sides of her shirt so as not to do something she'd regret. Emma slowly lifted her eyes to the slightly shiny ones in front of her, her own eyes like blank slates, sending another sharp pain through Red.

"Are you really that damaged?" Red inquired desperately, her eyes anxiously searching the closed ones in front of her as she frantically beat back the waves of emotions that were slowly tearing through her. "Are you that much of a fucking _idiot_ to believe that you don't deserve love?" Red's breath hitched in the middle of her sentence as she almost choked on her words. "Am I supposed to hang around and wait forever for you to get your shit together?"

"There never was an us. There will never _be_ an us." Voice painstakingly devoid of emotion, Emma brushed past the shaking form in front of her before stopping with her hand on her door. Turning her head slightly, Emma's eyes passed right over the shaky form as if she were inconsequential. "Don't follow me."

And with that statement, Red was left frozen in the middle of the bedroom, her very world crumbling down around her. Numb, Red wasn't sure how long she stood there, alone, in the lavishly decorated room. She had dared to love, only to have her heart ripped out and stomped upon once more. The thought that at least this time it wasn't her fault did absolutely nothing to assuage the pain.

Slowly, one by one, tears slipped down her face, her wavering control finally breaking into thousands of tiny shards. Time was lost to her tears; she stood there forever and a moment before she suddenly wasn't alone anymore, her howling sobs having drawn another. Burying her head in Snow's shoulder, she shook with abandon; her sobs constricting her breathing as the older woman slowly drew them to the ground and began rocking her.

Snow ran her hand through her best friend's red-streaked curls, skipping the platitudes and instead humming softly to a tune she never got to sing for Emma, offering the distraught girl what silent comfort she could as her arms gradually tightened. Shifting slightly to get into a more comfortable position, Snow was surprised as the arms around her tightened frantically.

"Don't leave me." Ruby's words were said so desperately, her voice so fragile that it broke Snow's heart.

"Shhh," Snow shushed the younger girl's protests, holding her closer as Red clung to her like a lifeline. "I'm not going anywhere. Just let it all out." And Red did.

Neither was sure how long they sat there, though by the time Red's frantic sobbing had turned into hiccups, and then finally low sniffling, night had already begun to fall. Looking bleakly outside the window from the safety of Snow's arms, Red rubbed her eyes slightly, exhausted. The sky was dark, angry clouds having moved in sometime during the day, fat globs of rain having replaced the rays of sunshine that had streamed through the curtains earlier. Somehow, Red thought that was fitting, as if the weather justified her earlier breakdown, the sky feeling her pain and crying with her.

"She left," Red whispered, voice hoarse and barely there.

"I know." Snow continued to stroke her back, not caring in the least when Red used her now soaked shoulder to wipe away the moisture that still clung to her face.

"She doesn't love me." Red swallowed thickly, too tired to cry anymore. "She doesn't even _like_ me."

"Red," Snow admonished sternly, yet her voice was still soft as she forced the other girl to look at her. "You know that's not true."

"Th-then why…" Red trailed off, unable to force out the words, yet they were painfully clear to the both of them. _Why did she leave me?_

"Oh Red," Snow sighed in understanding. "Emma's lived her life alone, never staying in one place too long and never growing close anyone. She learned from day one, literally day one," Snow's voice wavered slightly as she thought about the day she gave birth before focusing once more on what she needed to say, "that hoping would only get her hurt. She learned the hard way that some people carry darkness in their hearts; that daring to love would only come back to bite her, leaving her shattered and more alone than ever. From a young age she was forced to learn how to build walls to protect her tattered heart, because each time she slipped another piece of her was lost."

"But it's not like that anymore," Red mumbled into Snow's shirt.

"No, it's not," Snow agreed, "but Red, we haven't been back long. I'm not condoning her actions, but look at this from her perspective; she was suddenly forced to believe that everything she had been told was a lie, only to find herself in a strange world where she is loved, an emotion she has been shielding herself from all her life."

"So you're saying I'm overreacting?" Red whispered.

"Never." Snow stated firmly. "You have every right to feel the way you do. However, despite how much we wish it to be true, Emma is never going to be truly comfortable here, in this world, with us, until she finds herself. If we push, we'd just be pushing her farther away. She has to come to terms with the direction her life has taken on her own. My daughter is headstrong."

Red barked out a small laugh through her sniffles, causing Snow to smile slightly, an old saying she had heard as Mary Margaret coming back to her.

"If you love something let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it does come back, love it forever and never let go." Snow paraphrased the quote that seemed to define her whole life.

Red sniffled quietly, letting Snow's words sink in. Blinking tiredly, she asked, voice small, "Snow?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I borrow one of your bluebirds? I said some things…" Red's voice wavered slightly in remembered anguish. "And, um, there are some things I didn't get to say; words that I _need_ to say."

"Of course." Snow smiled, relieved.

"I should probably go see Granny," Red mumbled after a short silence, yet made no move whatsoever to get up.

Snow glanced out the window at the darkness, before taking in the exhausted girl curled in her lap. Shifting Red so she could stand up, Snow almost lost her balance as her skirt was clenched desperately.

"Snow?" Red asked, terrified.

"Come on," Snow helped Red up, and began dragging her out of the room.

"Where are we going?" Red asked, stumbling along with her love's mother blindly.

"It's too late for you to leave; you'll be sleeping with me tonight." Snow glanced back at Red, her resolve face on. "Charming can sleep in one of the guest rooms."

"I…" Red went to refuse, but couldn't find it in her to leave the comfort Snow offered her. "Okay." She whispered roughly, too tired to protest as Snow lead her determinedly down the halls, her earlier sobbing having left her completely drained.

She'd leave in the morning.

**o0o0o0o**

**A/N:** …


	2. Chapter 2

Red Swan (Red/Emma)

**ATTENTION READERS:** Please read until the last chapter before express posting me pitchforks? Please?

**SUMMARY:** FTL. In which Emma finds herself before rushing to find her heart.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Once Upon a Time or its characters. I do not own 'I Hope You Find It – by Miley Cyrus'. I am not making a profit from this story. In fact, if you recognize it… I probably don't own it. Actually, I'm kind of happy I don't own it; I had a hard enough time keeping my fish alive.

**Bruised Hearts**

**o0o0o0o**

It was hours later that Emma slipped stiffly off of her horse in front of an old abandoned barn. The roof was full of holes and the siding was worn and barely sticking together, but the inside was dryer than outside, at least, and ever so slightly warmer. Grabbing her horse's reins, she led the mare inside. Blinking her eyes to adjust to the darkness, Emma threw off her wet hood, and, using the brief flashes of lightning, guided the grey beast towards the cleanest patch of straw she could find.

Unbuckling her saddle, Emma finally became aware of just how tired her horse was as her hands passed through her wet coat, the sweat being slicker than the leftover rain. Patting her side gently, Emma distracted herself by venturing outside once more before returning with a broken barrel dragging behind her, what's left of it being full of rainwater.

"Here, Biscuit," Emma said quietly as she pet her horse's head, receiving a thankful whiny in return. "That's a good girl."

Finding a dry spot against the wall, she slowly slipped down to sit in the musty old straw, exhaustion clear on her face. Curling her arms around her legs, Emma rested her head on her soaked pants, a slight shiver running through her. Slowly, with the only sounds disturbing the almost overbearing silence being the quiet shuffling of her horse and the violent storm outside, Emma allowed her tattered walls to fall. It was for this reason, that though her clothes dried throughout the night, her knees bore a suspicious patch of wetness come morning.

Trudging blearily through the soggy street, Emma thought that the dreary morning matched her mood perfectly. As her thoughts once more returned to the events that happened days earlier, to Red's shattered face, Emma violently cleared her mind, putting up her well-worn walls as she wearily prepared herself to face another day alone. Her once morose expression becoming closed off, Emma didn't linger on the fact that putting up her walls had become harder than ever.

If she had learned one thing in life, it was that those walls were necessary.

Finally reaching the town limits, Emma dismounted before continuing towards the market on foot. Despite having spent the past few days holed up in the creaky old barn, Emma was finally hungry enough to bother venturing into town for food. Grey hood drawn over her face, Emma made sure to blend in with travel-worn clothes and a scruffy horse.

Finding an inn, Emma paid for a night and handed the stable boy Biscuit's reins, despite the fact that she would be heading back to her ratty stable come nighttime to continue her self-induced exile. She really only needed a place for Biscuit to stay for a while where she wouldn't be stolen while Emma shopped. With that thought, she stopped the boy before he could make it too far, grabbing an empty bag from the saddle; the thought of carrying her food in a basket caused her stomach to churn.

Walking sedately through the crowded streets, Emma perused the wares of a few stalls, before coming upon a fruit stand. Skipping right over the apples, Emma finally decided on a few oranges, and paid the merchant. As she was placing the last orange into her bag, however someone bumped into her, causing the fruit to fly out of her hands.

"Hey!" Emma croaked, her voice cracking with disuse, as a scruffy urchin swooped down and picked up her orange before darting away. Not willing to let him get away, Emma chased after him through the streets, finally cornering him in an alley. Slowly approaching, Emma huffed. "Dammit, kid, what the hell?"

The urchin narrowed his eyes at the man in front of him, not having expected him to be able to keep up with him. Clutching the large orange tightly between his two dirty hands, he backed up wearily until he bumped into the wall. Emma opened her mouth and took another step forward, only to be interrupted.

"Is everything alright here?" A gruff voice asked from behind them.

Emma glanced behind her, startled, only to inconspicuously pull her hood down further; making sure it hid her whole face. Making a snap decision as the man eyed the urchin with distrust, Emma walked forward decisively before stopping next to the little boy, startling him by placing her hand on his head. Facing the guard in front of her but keeping hidden, she ruffled the urchin's dirty black hair.

"Yessir," Emma stated lowly, thankful the rasp in her voice was deep enough for her to pass as a male. "Just out shopping with my little brother."

The guard eyed the two of them suspiciously as the cloaked figure wrapped a comforting arm around his little brother, the dirty boy looking up at him in surprise. Passing it off after a moment of scrutiny as them not being close siblings, the guard finally nodded. "Well, good day to you then."

Nodding back, Emma waited for the man to leave before stepping away from the little boy. Sighing at the confused eyes looking up at her, Emma crossed her arms and turned away. "Keep the orange, kid," Emma threw over her shoulder as she began to leave the alley.

The urchin shot forward and grabbed the back of the man's cloak, only to gape in surprise as the _lady's_ long blonde hair was released from her hood. Emma stopped, startled, only to whirl around and stare at the boy, hoping he didn't recognize her.

"You're a _girl_?" The urchin asked, amazed.

She wasn't sure whether to be amused or offended. "I guess I am," Emma responded dryly as she pulled her hood back up.

The urchin slowly closed his gaping mouth, a calculating look entering his eyes. His gaze switched from looking at her, to the orange, and back again. Nodding to himself, he trotted forward and took her hand with one of his small grubby ones, leading the bewildered woman to an unknown destination.

"Hey, whoa, kid," Emma started, surprised, as she suddenly found herself ducking in and out of crowds of people. "What do you think you're doing?"

"You know, you're pretty okay. For a girl." The kid replied, refusing to answer any of her questions.

Snorting in frustration, Emma decided to just let the kid drag her wherever, squashing the little voice in her head that said he reminded her of Henry. She didn't really have anywhere better to go, anyways. As they were reaching the edge of town, however, Emma jumped in surprise as a bird swooped down and narrowly missed her head.

"What's that?" The kid asked, curiously.

Bending down to pick up the bluebird, Emma felt a coil of dread settle in her stomach, only for that dread to multiply tenfold as she read the scrawled 'Emma' on the outside of the rolled up letter. She recognized the writing, and it was with a queasy feeling that she shoved it in her pocket. Shooing the bird away, she let the urchin lead her forward once more; ignoring the inquiring looks he sent her way.

As they turned down another alley, Emma was astonished to find them stopping in front of a large crate. The wood was worn and slightly moldy; a ratty blanket covering the opening to what was obviously his home. Emma stood shocked as the little boy dropped her hand and scurried inside, only to emerge seconds later without the orange.

Just as she was about to open her mouth, another voice called out from behind her.

"Orin!" A little girl shrieked, running past Emma to tackle the little boy, hugging him. "Where _has _you been!"

"Eww," Orin complained as he pushed the smaller girl off of him, his nose wrinkled at the cooties she undoubtedly gave him. "Ris!"

Ris giggled as she stood up, not bothering to wipe the mud off the back of her dress. Looking towards the stranger next to her brother, she clasped her hands behind her back and bounced slightly. "Who's this?"

"This lady bought us an _orange_," Orin puffed up proudly as if he had hunted the illusive fruit himself.

"Really?" Ris asked excitedly.

Emma watched, speechless at the events unfolding around her, as the little girl's dirty chocolate brown curls bounced as she was wrapped up in a quick but heartfelt hug. She was only marginally successful in blocking out the image of another curly-haired brunette doing the same thing. "Uh, you're welcome?"

As Orin disappeared back into the crate, Ris leaned up on her tip toes, face sombre, as if she were about to impart a big secret. "Granny's sick and we dun has money to help her, so we's been trying different foods. _Orange_ was next on th'list."

Emma felt her heart clench as her mind unconsciously flashed back to Storybrooke, to another sad brunette whose granny had just had another heart attack. Swallowing the lump in her throat it caused, Emma opened and closed her mouth, trying to find something to say. She gratefully turned her attention to Orin as the little boy emerged again.

"Granny wants to see you," Orin stated, helping his sister push the reluctant lady towards their home, waiting with arms crossed until she disappeared inside. "C'mon Ris, let's play!" Seemingly forgetting the younger girl was supposed to have cooties, the two began a playful game of tag, their giggles filling the alleyway.

Emma crawled uncomfortably inside the cramped crate, coming to sit with crossed legs in front of an old woman. Sitting in uncomfortable silence, Emma studied the older woman. She was resting against the side of the large crate, raggedy pillows and blankets helping to cushion her. Looking the weak-looking form up and down, Emma was surprised to see cloudy eyes staring slightly to her left.

"I apologize for my grandson," Emma was startled as the woman spoke, her voice slightly raspy but surprisingly strong. "I thought I had taught him better than that."

"It-It's okay, really," Emma stumbled over her words, waving away the older woman's words with a hand before realising with embarrassment that she couldn't actually _see_ the action. "I gave him that orange."

"It's sweet of you to say that, child," the old woman chuckled slightly, "but if I know my Orin, he didn't give you much choice in the matter."

Emma opened and closed her mouth, not knowing what to say to that comment; not wanting to confirm that the boy _had_ stolen her fruit. "They said you were sick?" Emma ended up blurting out, wanting the awkward silence to end, yet wincing when the words actually came out of her mouth.

The old lady was quiet for a few minutes, and Emma was starting to believe she had trespassed on a sensitive subject, only for the woman to shift slightly. Nodding to herself, the old lady did her best to set her gaze on the young woman in front of her, as if coming to a decision. "Humor an old woman, would you child, and listen to her story?"

Emma hesitated. She knew she should get back to her exile; knew she should hide away and fix her walls. But looking at the gnarled face in front of her, she knew she couldn't leave right away. Not when the little boy reminded her of Henry, and the little girl reminded her of… No, her tattered walls had taken a beating that day, and Emma didn't have the strength left to pretend at the moment. Starting to nod, Emma quickly stopped herself, vocalising her permission instead.

And so Emma sat there for hours, reluctant to leave the first human contact she had had in days, listening intently as the old woman told her story. She learned of the old lady's life as a child. How she was the daughter of a pair of farmers; how out of eight siblings, only three had made it to adulthood. She listened as the lady talked about how, as a young girl, she fell in love with the blacksmith's middle son, and he with her; how they snuck behind their disapproving parents' backs. She told of how her family was too poor to pay the dowry, and how his father looked down upon her family name; she and her love were going to run away together.

Emma learned of her miscarriage, and how she was raped two months later.

The old lady told of her adult life; about how she had ran away and raised the son alone, feeling shamed and unable to face her love after the attack yet also unable to go through the pain of losing another child. She told of how he had tried to follow her, but she had snuffed him out of her life; she told of how she deeply regretted that decision for the rest of her life.

She told Emma of how proud she was of her son, Orik, when he decided to marry for love, despite the difference in standing between the two of them; of how they were blessed with young Orin, and soon after, little Ris. She told of the bleak day Orik's wife died of the coughing sickness, her parents not wanting anything to do with their wayward daughter despite Orik's pleading for help. Her last words being those of love; of saying she had been blessed and had no regrets.

Emma learned that Orik died two years later, stabbed for the money it was believed he had since he had married a nobleman's daughter; Orik's last words to his son telling him not to cry, that he would be with young Orin's mother once again soon, before he died with a smile on his bloody face

The old lady recounted how she had raised the children alone after that, only to contract a sickness, one that affected the eyes. It was fairly common in these parts, apparently, but was quite pricey to cure; Emma learned the old lady decided to put food on the table instead of buying the antidote, only to lose her job and her house shortly after due to her disability.

And yet, as Emma soon found out as the old lady's story came to a close, the only thing she genuinely regretted in her life was pushing Orth, for that was the name of her childhood love, away.

As the old woman fell silent, her voice hoarse after talking so long, Emma was at a loss as to how to respond. Clearing her throat, Emma asked, mouth dry, "Why did you tell me all of that."

"I sensed your restlessness child; your disquiet feelings." The old lady smiled, somewhat ruefully. "One thing this sickness has done is boost my other senses; a fact I am not wholly grateful for at times." The old lady folded her hands in her lap as Emma sat speechless. "But I digress; my grandson mentioned a bird delivered a letter to you, yet you did not seem pleased. Why is this?"

Emma's hand unconsciously twitched towards her pocket, before she grabbed it with her other hand and clasped them in her lap; the letter burning a hole through her pocket now more than ever. "It's nothing."

"Oh, do my ears deceive me, or is someone dissembling?" The old woman shot a pointed look in Emma's general direction. "Now tell me child, if it is nothing, as you claim, then why would you lie about it."

Not amused at being at the other end of the lie-detecting stick, Emma frowned.

"Now, I may be a sickly old woman, with not a copper piece to her name," The old lady started, voice stern, "but what I lack in education and worldly possessions I make up for in experience. Do not make the same mistakes I did, child." And then, suddenly, to Emma's complete discomfort, the old lady's cloudy eyes found her own with unerring ease. "Even the hope of a happy ending is a powerful thing."

And with those familiar words, Emma found her walls come crashing down, leaving her feeling raw inside. "I don't…" Looking down, Emma found the rolled up letter clutched tightly in her hand. "I'm just me; I don't deserve a happy ending. I'm just plain old me. I don't know how to… how to..." Emma trailed off, unable to force the words out.

"Perhaps." The old lady nodded her head in acceptance. "And yet, perhaps not. The question you must ask yourself, however, is whether or not the person who wrote you that letter deserves a happy ending; answer that, child, and you shall know the answer to the question in your heart."

And with that piece of advice settling heavily in her stomach, Emma watched as the old lady seemingly fell asleep. Uncramping her legs, Emma took that as a dismissal and began crawling out of the crate, only to stop at the threshold. Deliberating for only a moment, Emma untied the small pouch of gold coins from around her waist and deposited it on the ground in front of the old lady, before stretching as she finally exited the small space.

Sighing, she stopped Orin as he rushed by, fixing him with a stern stare. "Okay kid, this is what you're gonna do. You're going to wait for your granny to wake up; then you're going to convince her to head to the inn. There you'll find your room under the name Emily Swin. You'll all have a good night's rest, bathe and eat a hearty meal, and then in the morning you'll get your granny her medicine." Emma released the boys shoulder and walked swiftly away, not turning back to see the wide-eyed look that followed her until she was out of sight.

Walking quickly through the thinned crowd, Emma found herself back at the inn and took her horse back from the stable boy before instructing him on what would be happening with her room. Jumping onto Biscuit's saddle, Emma trotted out of town.

"But miss!" The stable boy called after her, only to mumble to himself in confusion as he watched her speed out of sight. "Nobody lives in East Alley…"

Emma slowed Biscuit down as buildings gave way to lush forests, sighing in unease as she glanced at the letter still tightly clutched in her hand. Smoothing out the crumpled paper, Emma hesitated. "What if she hates me, Bis? What if she never wants to see me again?" Emma's stomach churned; each imagined letter worse than the next. "What if she… takes back what she said… that night. What if she doesn't…" Emma trailed off, only to be almost thrown off her mare as Biscuit snorted and bucked slightly.

"Yeah- I, she deserves it, Bis." Emma cleared her throat, rubbing her eyes roughly as she felt the first prickling sensation of tears and managed to stop them in their tracks. "I still don't, I-I mean I… But she does Bis; she really does. She deserves her happy ending."

Taking a deep breath, Emma shakily opens the letter, eyes drinking in the familiar, yet shaky scrawl, the words interspersed with tearstains. Reading the words, Emma couldn't help but let a slight sob escape her mouth, her pathetic walls torn down as she imagined that it was Red reading the words to her. Blinking away the tears that clouded her vision, she urged Biscuit into a run, the letter fluttering limply from her hands only to be swept away with the wind, slowly coming to a rest yards away in small brook, the words slowly being washed away.

"**I hope you get this message that I'm sending to you, 'cause I hate that you left without hearing the words that I need you to. 'Am I supposed to hang around and wait forever', were the last words I said, but that was nothing but a broken heart talking, baby; you know that wasn't what I meant. So I hope you find it; what you're looking for. I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be; and so much more. And I hope you're happy, wherever you are; searching for whatever it is out there that you were missing here. I just wanted you to know that….. And nothings gonna change that… And I hope you find it."**

**o0o0o0o**

**A/N:**… …


	3. Chapter 3

Red Swan (Red/Emma)

**SUMMARY:** FTL. In which Emma finds her heart and vows to never let go.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Once Upon a Time or its characters. I do not own 'I Hope You Find It – by Miley Cyrus'. I am not making a profit from this story. In fact, if you recognize it… I probably don't own it. Actually, I'm kind of happy I don't own it; I had a hard enough time keeping my fish alive.

**Bruised Hearts**

**o0o0o0o**

A week had passed, yet there was still no sign of her daughter. Only going inside to sleep, and even that was only after she got Grumpy to stand guard for her while she got the barest minimum of shut-eye, Snow stood vigil alone at the gates to the castle. At first James had stood with her, but he was soon called inside to deal with different matters of state. This left Snow to venture out alone every day, and when James would ask, like he did every morning, why she couldn't wait inside like the rest of them, Snow would give him a look and say it was maternal instinct that drove her. Then, every morning without fail, James would reply that it wasn't instinct that drove her but the same thing that drove their daughter; unadulterated stubbornness.

No matter what exactly drove her to wait out in the cold day after day for her wayward daughter, Snow knew it was the right decision as sure as she knew Emma would be back for Red. And so, when Emma finally rode up on the eighth day, clothes a mess and tears in her eyes, Snow silently thanked her resolve. Watching as her baby stumbled from her heaving horse, a croaked 'mum' escaping her lips, Snow snapped into action, rushing forward and enveloping her little girl in a hug full of motherly concern.

Snow rubbed Emma's back as the blond pressed closer, mumbling over and over in her neck that she was sorry. "Shh, love." Snow whispered, once Emma calmed down a bit. "It's okay now. It's going to be alright." And Snow knew it would be alright, just like she knew Emma would need her at the gate.

Emma hiccupped once, twice, before pulling away slightly; reluctant to leave her mother's comforting arms yet also too far gone to stop now. "Red?"

"Gone to Granny's." Snow watched as Emma tried somewhat successfully to get her emotions under control, a watery resolve settling over her features. "Go, Em; she needs you as much as you need her."

Nodding sharply, Emma broke away from her mother and started marching back to her horse, only to stop as her mother called her name.

"Wait, here, take this." Snow ran up to Emma, unclipping a locket from around her neck.

"But isn't this…" Emma trailed off, confused, as Snow closed her fist around the locket.

"Yes," Snow smiled nostalgically, touching the spot where it had rested against her chest. "I feel it'll come to better use in your hands, than in mine."

Emma opened and closed her mouth, shocked, before nodding slowly. Stuffing the chain in her pocket, she whirled around only to be stopped once more by her mother.

"Wait, Emma!" Chuckling at her daughter's exasperated look, Snow stepped out of sight for a moment, only to come back holding the reins of a tall white stallion. "Take your father's horse; Knut is the fastest in the stables, and Biscuit needs a rest."

Thanking Snow once more, Emma quickly climbed up the large horse's back, feeling the power in his muscles as she kicked him into a run. Knut's long strides quickly ate up the ground, and it was only a few hours later that Emma saw Granny's cottage in the distance. Practically jumping off of the panting yet immensely proud horse, Emma stumbled over to the door. Raising her hand to knock, the door suddenly surprised her by swinging open, its well-oiled hinges making nary a sound. Emma didn't even have time to squeak before a soft yet firm object connected solidly with her head, sending her tumbling to the ground.

"You!" Granny muttered, vexed, before lowering the pillow to her side yet clenching it all the harder. "You're the reason my baby was hurt! You have some nerve, showing up around here; princess or no!"

Emma opened her mouth to speak, yet couldn't get a word in edgewise as the older woman continued her rant.

"I have raised that girl all her life, and let me tell you I have never seen her that broken hearted; not when she found out she was the wolf, nor when she realized she was the one to kill that wastrel Peter!" Granny paced back in for in front of the doorway. "The girl locked herself in her room for two days, refusing to come out even for food. Then, when she finally did venture out, even the smallest things made her burst into tears. I found her one evening sobbing into a gods-be-damned wooden _spoon_ because the crack in it looked like a lemur!"

Granny stopped abruptly, breathing hard, before whirling towards the younger girl. "Well? What do you have to say for yourself?" Granny finally took a moment to actually look at the blonde, and was taken aback.

Emma still lay sprawled in the dirt, her usually golden hair gnarled and a dusty brown color, her eyes red and puffy. Her clothes were riddled with tiny holes and she was covered in a thick layer of mud from the waist down. Growling slightly under her breath, Granny harrumphed, yanking the choked up woman back to her feet.

"Now see here, _princess_," Granny threatened, eyes narrowed. "If you ever break my baby's heart again, I will break out my crossbow and turn you into a pincushion so fast you wouldn't have time to say 'dwarf'. Got it?"

Emma nodded dumbly, still unable to speak yet adamant that she would never knowingly cause Red pain ever again.

"Well, what are you waiting for girl?" Granny scowled, moments later. "I sent her into town a few hours ago. Go! And don't come back until my baby is in one piece again!"

Emma didn't need to be told twice, and was in such a hurry she forgot her horse in the middle of the lawn.

Granny grumbled under her breath, grabbing the large horse's reins and leading him into the small barn. "Damn kids." Knut sneezed in agreement.

Emma rushed through the woods in the general direction of town, breath coming in pants as she exerted her exhausted body. Reaching the crest of a small hill, Emma sees a flash of red out of the corner of her eye. Barrelling down the small incline, Emma practically tackled the distracted girl, causing them to both hit the ground in a roll, Red's basket flying through the air.

Red gasped as she came to a stop, gazing at the form on top of her in astonishment. Once again Emma found the dam breaking as she buried her head in Red's neck this time, mumbling choked apologies in between frantic gasps of the other girl's comforting scent. At first too astonished to react, Red's eyes soon filled with tears as well, never having seen the other girl this emotional.

In fact, in all the time she had known Emma, Red had never seen the blond cry; not even once. It was this fact, coupled with Emma's uncontrollable sobbing, that convinced Red that Emma was telling the truth. Blinking through her own tears, Red pried the shorter girl's face from her neck despite her protests, before connecting their lips in a frantic, salty kiss.

Emma gasped into the kiss, trying to bring herself impossibly closer to the brunette as their teeth and tongues dueled frantically; the kiss bruising in its intensity. As Red parted reluctantly for air, Emma made a sobbing sound of displeasure before connecting their lips once more; this kiss being noticeably softer, more emotional.

This time being the one to pull away, Emma gazed down at the watery eyes beneath her own, tears still streaming down their faces, before something green caught her eye. Spotting the beaten artichoke on the ground next to the basket, Emma couldn't help the gasp that escaped her, nor the renewed deluge of tears. "I'm s-so sor-rr-ry I bruised your h-heart."

An almost hysterical laugh escaped Red, the chuckle turning into a choked sob at the last minute as she shook her head. "I know."

"I'm s-so s-sorry!" Emma hiccupped, again.

"I know." Red reiterated.

As Emma finally calmed down again, Red blinked the moisture away once more, hesitantly raised her shaking hand to cup Emma's cheek. "You're real, right? This isn't a dream?" Her voice was so pitifully soft that Emma's heart clenched in pain, another sob being wrenched from her lips as she leaned into the touch.

"I got your letter," Emma whispered as a thumb gently wiped away her tears.

"I was so afraid…" Red trailed off, averting her eyes. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again, because I-I, even though I wrote those words I'm just-it would have been too painful if you-"

Emma cut off Red's broken-hearted ramblings with another kiss, this one long and slow and full of promise. As they broke apart, and Red finally smiled up at her with that cute little half grin Emma adored, she finally noticed they were still sprawled out in the middle of the road. About to stand up and apologise for using the other woman as a pillow, Emma was yanked back down as Red curled up around her, uncaring that they were on the ground.

The two of them lay cuddled there in the dirt, each reaching out for the other every once in a while to make sure the other was real. It wasn't until the both of them had exhausted their tears did Emma shift once more. Reaching into her pocket, Emma grasped the locket her mother had given her.

"Move in with me." Red turned her head, startled, only to meet Emma's puffy but serious gaze.

"Are you sure-" Red started, aware of the older girl's need for space, only to be cut off.

"Move in with me. Please." Emma looked pleadingly into hazel eyes. "You. And Granny can come too; the castle is big enough."

"Okay," Red said quietly after a moment, not even having to think about it.

"And even though she's kind of intense and threatened me with a crossbow, I can't stand the thought of not seeing you for-wait, what?" Emma blinked, stopping mid-rant.

"Okay," Red said again, smiling.

"Okay?" Emma grinned.

"Yes." Red made a contented noise as Emma gave her another drawn out kiss, before pulling back.

Biting her lip now that the easy part was done, Emma gazed down into slightly confused orbs as she pulled the locket out of her pocket and handed it to Red.

"Emma, it's beautiful," Red gasped as she took in the pink gold heart-shaped locket, running her thumb over the twin swans on the cover.

"Sn-, my mum gave it to me. Apparently Granddad gave it to Grandmum on their wedding day, only to keep it close to his heart when she passed away. When he died, Mum inherited it." Emma explained, shyly.

"Emma I, I can't take this," Ruby gasped trying to give it back to the blond, but the princess stubbornly refused to receive it.

"No, please. Keep it." Emma implored, causing Ruby to hesitantly concede with a nod. Glancing away, Emma opened her mouth, only to close it again. Chewing on her lip, she glanced at the locket, before steeling herself. "Look at the back."

Red looked at Emma curiously, before flipping the locket over, her fingers tracing the delicately carved words as she mouth them aloud. "_With this I vow_."

Gathering her nerve, Emma blurted out the words in a rush; the words that had been fighting to come out for so long. "I love. You. I love you." And as she said them, Emma was relieved; relieved the world didn't come tumbling down around her, relieved her chest felt lighter, and relieved that she was finally able to put what she felt for the taller girl into words.

Relieved that Red, with another choked sob, crushed their lips together once more; all the while mumbling the same thing over and over again.

_I love you too._

**o0o0o0o**

**A/N:**… I've got to stop listening to sappy songs when I'm overtired.


End file.
